Addenda to Moscow Metro

1. Sometimes a train doesn't run all the way to the end of the line at Rechnoy Vokzal but stops at Sokol, a few stops before my station. At this point everyone disembarks and waits for the next train. I have yet to see what happens when someone doesn't get off the train and catches the wrath of the conductress, although there have been two close calls. 1. The drunk guy (I realize this is a somewhat vague term, especially regarding the patronage of the moscow metro, where I have seen any number of men just passed out, but I'll leave it at that), and 2. me, when I got so wrapped up in other activities that I just sat there while everyone else got off the train. I should have known better.




However, the young man with the only clean-shaven nape in Moscow alerted me to the danger and...disaster averted. (Actually, I say two disasters averted, because, well, he didn't have a mullet.)





2. The Moscow equivalent of swiping someone through on your transfer and charging them $2 is waiting until someone swipes and then following her through the turnstile to avoid paying for yourself. This requires excellent timing and some smart consideration of who you're going to get that close to. I've seen it happen, and once it happened to me. Now, I don't know what the correct protocol is here -- maybe Muscovites like subverting the system. But I'm an American female, and I'm really attached to my personal space, plus, it's 22 rubles, people. Just pay the fare. Finally, I didn't have one of the highest gum fine yields at Nazareth for nothing.

So when this dude stalled at the turnstile as I flashed my metro card and got right up behind me when I started to walk through, I didn't rush away from him. Instead I dallied: I stood there a second and slowly put my card away in my purse, then ambled on through the turnstile. Perfect timing: when I passed through, the bars snapped out and caught him. Then the metro lady yelled at him. I smiled to myself and went on down the stairs. Is that so wrong? If I had to do it again, I'd probably also turn around and berate him in English. What? Cities make me hostile.



3. Guess who I saw the other day on the metro!







Ready? Did you guess:



Probably not. Because who expects Waldo to show up on Moscow's public transportation? But he did! I really, really wish I had a picture to show you but trust me, he looked just like this but without the hat.

You know, when you're a young man who's tall and thin, with Harry Potter-style brown hair and Buddy Holly glasses, you might want to look in a mirror before you leave the house in a red-and-white striped sweater. No matter how hip you are (and reading Stranger in a Strange Land on the Zamoskvoretskaya line is pretty damn hip), the resemblance to Waldo undermines everything else.




So the take-away for today is: pay attention
a. or rely on the kindness of non-Dimaesque strangers
b. or you may inadvertently contribute to fare jumping
c. or you could miss Waldo.